{"product_id":"tumbler-holds-your-drink-not-your-life-together","title":"Tumbler. Contains your drink. Not your sense of doom.","description":"\u003cp dir=\"ltr\"\u003eStainless steel. 20 oz. Double-walled, which is the part that does the work.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp dir=\"ltr\"\u003eIt will not improve your drink. It prevents your drink from becoming worse. For a while at least. Those are different services and legal insists we should be clear about which one you're buying.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp dir=\"ltr\"\u003eThe insulation is indifferent to contents. Coffee, water, something at 4pm you've decided not to discuss. It holds the temperature it was given and makes no inquiry into the circumstances.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp dir=\"ltr\"\u003eThe lid is included. It fits.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eBuy it. Don't buy it. We're not your accountant.\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e(We’re also not not your lawyer. This is not legal advice. The tumbler is not legal advice.)\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e• High-grade stainless steel—built to last longer than your optimism\u003cbr\u003e• 20 oz capacity—fill it with coffee, water, or quiet despair\u003cbr\u003e• Comes with lid and metal straw—because this year sucks, and so should your straw\u003cbr\u003e• Matte finish, glossy protection—style over substance, as always\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eDisclaimer: Not dishwasher or microwave safe. Hand-wash only. Because life is inconvenient. And nothing matters—but adult women are 55% water, and yes we had to look that up.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong class=\"size-guide-title\"\u003eSize guide\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cdiv class=\"table-responsive dynamic\"\u003e\n\u003ctable cellpadding=\"5\"\u003e\n\u003ctbody\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e \u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eWIDTH (cm)\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eLENGTH (cm)\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e20 oz\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e7.4\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e21.4\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003c\/tbody\u003e\n\u003c\/table\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"ydpad3a0e58isSelectedEnd\"\u003eWe make this product specifically for you instead of manufacturing 10,000 of them and hoping for the best.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"ydpad3a0e58isSelectedEnd\"\u003eAs a result, shipping takes a little longer.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"ydpad3a0e58isSelectedEnd\"\u003eIt reduces overproduction. It reduces waste. And it gives us one less thing to feel vaguely responsible for.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eThank you for making a thoughtful purchasing decision. Or at least this one.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e","brand":"#nihilistlawyer","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":51318408675364,"sku":"7941561_15004","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0786\/4713\/2196\/files\/stainless-steel-tumbler-black-front-6a91e58a1b0f6.jpg?v=1787946389","url":"https:\/\/nihilistlawyer.com\/products\/tumbler-holds-your-drink-not-your-life-together","provider":"#nihilistlawyer","version":"1.0","type":"link"}